Your Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 Score Is... | ||||
Your Score: | Average For All Users | Average For All ( total) | ||
Dating | 42.31% | 34.45% | Dated seriously | |
Self-Lovin' | 36.36% | 60.72% | When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself | |
Shamelessness | 56.45% | 77.3% | It takes a couple of drinks | |
Sex Drive | 11.9% | 75.02% | Humps fire hydrants when nobody's looking | |
Straightness | 0% | 39.35% | Knows the other body type like a map | |
Gayness | 33.33% | 77.58% | At least one weekend of ecstasy | |
Dominant | 68.33% | 86.46% | Not afraid to tie the knot | |
Submissive | 84.13% | 86.74% | Submits to no one... almost | |
Fucking Sick | 71.43% | 89.69% | Dipped into depravity | |
Total Score | 49.05% | 73.58% | ||
Take The Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 and see how you match up! (By The Ferrett) |
To: Zettler, Harold [hzettler@pentex.com]
From: Hawking, Kevin [khawking@magadon.com]
Subject: Plague Rumors in Los Angeles
Mr. Zettler,
Recently, a new crop of troubling plague-related rumors have made the rounds in Los Angeles. As you are well aware, the "plague" (so named by the Camarilla "prince" of the region, in order to preserve the "Masquerade") was, in fact, an attempt by a self-proclaimed deity by the name of Deacon Frost to take over Los Angeles. His was an inferior strain of vampirism, though his personal power seemed to be nearly limitless. Frost and his vampires were defeated by an unknown medical remedy and by belated action from several Garou septs. Shortly thereafter, Magadon and Ardus began the failed attempt to gain control of the nearby sea-based caern.
A new rumor has been making the rounds in Los Angeles, and it has the potential to damage Pentex operations in the area. According to the rumor, pollution in the water (presumably caused by Magadon and Ardus, though there is no proof) caused the "plague" in Los Angeles. None of the humans in the city remember the events of the plague, due to Delirium, and so the rumor is catching hold. There is quite a bit of pollution remaining in the water, due to our activity against the Rokea and we have no way to prove that the pollution happened after the "plague" ended. We have been refering government and media questions to the media relations division for the past 24 hours, but that will only last so long. The mayor's office is especially insistent that Magadon speak (off the record, of course).
As head of Special Projects for Los Angeles, I request permission to release pertinent information to the press and to the mayor's office. Accident clean-up and media relations will be handled per company policy.
An internal investigation has produced no leaks thus far. I assume the rumor came from an outside source. We are tracking down the source of the rumor and I will report when we know more.
Kevin Hawking
Director of Special Projects
Magadon, Inc - Los Angeles
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
To: Hawking, Kevin [khawking@magadon.com]
From: Zettler, Harold [hzettler@pentex.com]
Subject: RE: Plague Rumors in Los Angeles
Hawking,
Plan approved on one condition. Do NOT disclose information about Special Projects' interests in the area. That Rokea captive is proving useful and the new vampire captive promises to be even more useful. I will let Ardus' CEO know to take most of the fall for this one. Our friends at Trinity Hive have agreed to lend us their services, and so security footage of a break-in at Ardus' Los Angeles warehouse will be available shortly. Per company policy in such a situation, Ardus will claim full responsibility for the clean-up and the perpetrators will be hunted down and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. The hunt for environmental extremists should keep the Garou busy for a while.
Harold Zettler
Head of Special Projects Division
Pentex
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kevin Hawking looked up from the email and smiled. He pressed the intercom button on his phone. "Lily, I'm expecting a package from Trinity Media, Inc in a few hours, could you make sure it gets to me right away? Also, can you call the mayor's office and arrange a meeting with him regarding the plague rumors his office has been asking us about? 9pm tonight or tomorrow night would be perfect. Thanks, Lily." He didn't wait for an answer. One wasn't expected. Lily did her job and asked as few questions as possible about the work. It was one of the reasons she was valuable, even though she wasn't the eyecandy that some of the other secretaries were.
Kevin got to work drafting the press release that Magadon would give, after his meeting with the mayor. With Zettler's word, Pentex's story was clear: A group of environmental extremists broke into Ardus Enterprise's storage facility at the Port of Los Angeles and stole several tons of biohazardous waste that Ardus was disposing of for Magadon, Inc. The waste was dumped into the ocean around Los Angeles, where it infected the water. It was suspected that the break-ins occurred over several months leading up to the recent "plague", and Magadon's preliminary findings indicate that the two events may have been related, though more research would be necessary before they would know for sure. Magadon and Ardus would perform their own internal investigations, and would be completely open to government investigation. Ardus promised to pay for cleaning up the remaining mess. Magadon and Ardus would both release statements condemning the actions of the extremists and urging any citizens of Los Angeles who might know something about the group on Ardus' security footage to contact their local law enforcement. Kevin would call in a few favors from local media to make sure the Ardus story did not outweigh the growing crisis in the Gulf of Mexico. It would hardly do for people to forget the perfectly ordinary crisis far from home, after all.
A little before 8pm, Kevin Hawking gathered the materials he would show the mayor, including the fresh "security footage" from a pack of Dancers from Trinity Hive devoted to just such "environmental extremism". He left Magadon, Inc, with plenty of time to get to the mayor's office early.
#1. He (I think) is a Dancer. Only, he talks like a 12 year old emo girl with a crush on some other girl. You know, an emo-crush. The kind where you want them to slit their wrists so they can quit making everyone miserable. Also? Just a hint buddy. English. Learn it. Live it. Love it. We use capital letters here, bud.
#2. This one is a super-special snowflake. Born to Black Spiral Dancers, but apparently alive, well, and 'untainted'. Ha. Kid, here's a hint. If you're untainted, you're not a fuckin' Dancer. Plain and simple. Wyrm-taint? That shit is passed down through the genetics, even if you did manage to get your butt dropped off at the hospital when you were newborn. There are no super-special snowflakes. We make sure of that. Violently.
I guess my point with this is, I'd love to see emo teenage girls actually write some cool shit, you know? We're the really-fucking-bad guys, the stuff to give Freddy and Jason nightmares. Let's see some of that shit! Our ancestors were the Picts of Great Britian. We've never been a sane and calm tribe. Fuck that. Screw women. Get high. Go kill something. If you think a tribe that would all enter Malfeas to do battle with the Wyrm's forces (and for those of you that neglected your history lessons, I am talking about the epic stupidity that was the White Howlers' full-tilt, epic mad dash into the maw of the Beast) is sane, I got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
Back in the privacy of his office, Kevin Hawking read the email over again. And once again. Elizabeth Silver's background check sat on his desk beside the laptop. Normally, when such strange emails came uninvited, they were deleted as junk. However, this one interested him. That entry in her background check on Deacon Frost made him suspect that "something you and your company would very much like to have" could be far more valuable than mere security systems.
He dialed the number. "Ms. Silver, my name is Kevin Hawking. I got your email. You got my attention. I would very much like to meet and discuss this valuable commodity you've procured."

I am Red/Black
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
Don't underestimate Black Spiral Dancers. I'm talking to you, Art, buddy. Well, you and whoever else is reading this.
Yeah. All those Dancers you kill? All those frothing, murderous hordes unable to even speak? Buddy! We gotta get rid of the rejects somehow. They're insane as hell, and we sure as hell wouldn't let them breed, but they are still members of the tribe. So we send 'em to you and the Garou for an honorable death. So yeah! The reason you've never seen a coherent Black Spiral Dancer is because you've been killing our raving lunatics, buddy. Enjoy. I'll be over here enjoying a latte.
((This info comes from the Book of the Wyrm))
From the Book of the Wyrm: The Black Spiral Dancer veiw of the original Balance Wyrm.
"In its primordial state, the Wyrm maintained the equilibrium of order and chaos through the process of creation or obliteration. If chaos threatened to overwhelm the universe with its boundless energy, or if order had bound up too much of the free energy of the world, the Wyrm would stretch wide its maw and swallow up the excess and remove it from existence, or aim its tail at the deficiency and bestow upon the world the added mass of its own excretions."
~W. Richard MacLish - University of Edinburg (a.k.a. Writlish of the Black Spiral Dancers)
The Black Spiral Dancers believe that the Triad began the process of creation before they were even self-aware. The Wyld spewed its creative energy, and when it did it spurred the Weaver into ordering the universe. Between the two, maintaining the balance of the worlds, was the Wyrm. But, the Triad gained self-awareness and realized that their creations would forever be changed and destroyed by the other two. Madness set in. The force of Balance was caught up in the Weaver's web. In its agony and desperation to continue its task of Balance, it became the Triatic Wyrm we know today. (Note: Dancers believe the Wyrm let itself be caught, in order to initiate its plan to overcome the frenzied madness of Chaos and Order)
The Wyrm's goal is to help the Weaver spread her webs through all of Creation. Only once the entire universe can be contained in the Pattern will the current process of universe creation be complete and the universe will cease to exist as an active entity. The Void can then be cleared and an older, wiser Triat can begin anew.
To aid in this end, the Triatic Wyrm uses the only power left to it, the transformative powers of decay and corruption, along with the Urge Wyrms spawned of its own desperate desires made real. Its minions aid the Weaver by spreading decay and corruption in the Wyld.
From the Book of the Wyrm: The Black Spiral Dancer veiw of the original Balance Wyrm.
"In its primordial state, the Wyrm maintained the equilibrium of order and chaos through the process of creation or obliteration. If chaos threatened to overwhelm the universe with its boundless energy, or if order had bound up too much of the free energy of the world, the Wyrm would stretch wide its maw and swallow up the excess and remove it from existence, or aim its tail at the deficiency and bestow upon the world the added mass of its own excretions."
~W. Richard MacLish - University of Edinburg (a.k.a. Writlish of the Black Spiral Dancers)
The Black Spiral Dancers believe that the Triad began the process of creation before they were even self-aware. The Wyld spewed its creative energy, and when it did it spurred the Weaver into ordering the universe. Between the two, maintaining the balance of the worlds, was the Wyrm. But, the Triad gained self-awareness and realized that their creations would forever be changed and destroyed by the other two. Madness set in. The force of Balance was caught up in the Weaver's web. In its agony and desperation to continue its task of Balance, it became the Triatic Wyrm we know today. (Note: Dancers believe the Wyrm let itself be caught, in order to initiate its plan to overcome the frenzied madness of Chaos and Order)
The Wyrm's goal is to help the Weaver spread her webs through all of Creation. Only once the entire universe can be contained in the Pattern will the current process of universe creation be complete and the universe will cease to exist as an active entity. The Void can then be cleared and an older, wiser Triat can begin anew.
To aid in this end, the Triatic Wyrm uses the only power left to it, the transformative powers of decay and corruption, along with the Urge Wyrms spawned of its own desperate desires made real. Its minions aid the Weaver by spreading decay and corruption in the Wyld.
You are The Devil
Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession
The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.
Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
As a dancer weaves back and forth along this elaborate path, he enters a trance, one that gives him visions of an insane realm stranded outside of space and time. The valiant cultist then pursues a visionquest towards the center of the labyrinth. His Black Spiral Dance allows him to permeate the membranes that separate the concentric circles of this realm. As the initiate pursues the mysteries of his order, he follows an Umbral journey through a series of underground tunnels. His ordeal tests his inner wisdom and answers his doubts with madness.
The Nine Circles
Theurges speak of nine thresholds of wisdom in the Spiral Labyrinth, nine concentric circles of unspeakable ordeals. Each circle offers a test that a dancer must overcome before she can advance in Rank. If she is particularly ingenious, she may even learn a deviant Gift from the servitors of the labyrinth. The experience often resembles a little story, a surreal vignette set within endless corridors and presented by a host of treacherous Umbral spirits.
The First Circle: The Dance of Insight
Before a werewolf can be recognized as a true Black Spiral Dancer, she must survive this first ordeal. The experience always begins in darkness. The dancer then receives visions representing dark truths within her soul. Often, these secrets have been hidden for the sake of the initiate's sanity. Blasphemous revelations offer the pomise of further understanding, but the dancer must first overcome the limitations of her own mind. If she is weak, the experience shatters her sanity.
The Second Circle: The Dance of Rage
In the second circle, the initiate learns the strength of her anger, allowing her to indulge in violence as no mere Garou ever could. A dancer who enters this portion of the labyrinth is beset by overwhelming problems. The only way to overcome them is through frenzy. Utter psychotic ultraviolence is the only path leading out of this circle, encouraging the Black Spiral to enact any act of violation or destruction to achieve her goals.
The Third Circle: The Dance of Endurance
In this realm, the dancer must endure tests of physical and mental anguish. The experience is often a twisted version of a test the dancer underwent in her previous life, ultimately showing that she is too strong to fall before such opposition now. Physical anguish results in a higher tolerance to pollution, radiation, or sheer pain. Mental anguish allows communion with the Urge Wyrms, increasing understanding of the spirits' tactics so that the dancer may use similar methods against her foes.
The Fourth Circle: The Dance of Cunning
The guardian at the threshold of the fourth circle is a treacherous Bane, one who must be misled in a test of wits before the dancer can pass. This draws upon the dancer's Gnosis, requiring her to twist wisdom into false logic. Surviving this test allows the initiate to see through the deception of others, especially the spirits who serve the Wyrm. The Dance of Cunning may also involve realizing the truth behind a great lie.
The Fifth Circle: The Dance of Combat
Before crossing the threshold of the fifth circle, the petitioner must overcome a legion of foes. This ordeal is more of a symbolic epic battle than a blow-by-blow brawl. Sometimes the dancer tries to impress her tormentors by using violence in the most imaginable ways possible. If she can overwhelm these enemies without betraying her fear, her prowess in battle increases dramatically.
As a dancer weaves back and forth along this elaborate path, he enters a trance, one that gives him visions of an insane realm stranded outside of space and time. The valiant cultist then pursues a visionquest towards the center of the labyrinth. His Black Spiral Dance allows him to permeate the membranes that separate the concentric circles of this realm. As the initiate pursues the mysteries of his order, he follows an Umbral journey through a series of underground tunnels. His ordeal tests his inner wisdom and answers his doubts with madness.
The Nine Circles
Theurges speak of nine thresholds of wisdom in the Spiral Labyrinth, nine concentric circles of unspeakable ordeals. Each circle offers a test that a dancer must overcome before she can advance in Rank. If she is particularly ingenious, she may even learn a deviant Gift from the servitors of the labyrinth. The experience often resembles a little story, a surreal vignette set within endless corridors and presented by a host of treacherous Umbral spirits.
The First Circle: The Dance of Insight
Before a werewolf can be recognized as a true Black Spiral Dancer, she must survive this first ordeal. The experience always begins in darkness. The dancer then receives visions representing dark truths within her soul. Often, these secrets have been hidden for the sake of the initiate's sanity. Blasphemous revelations offer the pomise of further understanding, but the dancer must first overcome the limitations of her own mind. If she is weak, the experience shatters her sanity.
The Second Circle: The Dance of Rage
In the second circle, the initiate learns the strength of her anger, allowing her to indulge in violence as no mere Garou ever could. A dancer who enters this portion of the labyrinth is beset by overwhelming problems. The only way to overcome them is through frenzy. Utter psychotic ultraviolence is the only path leading out of this circle, encouraging the Black Spiral to enact any act of violation or destruction to achieve her goals.
The Third Circle: The Dance of Endurance
In this realm, the dancer must endure tests of physical and mental anguish. The experience is often a twisted version of a test the dancer underwent in her previous life, ultimately showing that she is too strong to fall before such opposition now. Physical anguish results in a higher tolerance to pollution, radiation, or sheer pain. Mental anguish allows communion with the Urge Wyrms, increasing understanding of the spirits' tactics so that the dancer may use similar methods against her foes.
The Fourth Circle: The Dance of Cunning
The guardian at the threshold of the fourth circle is a treacherous Bane, one who must be misled in a test of wits before the dancer can pass. This draws upon the dancer's Gnosis, requiring her to twist wisdom into false logic. Surviving this test allows the initiate to see through the deception of others, especially the spirits who serve the Wyrm. The Dance of Cunning may also involve realizing the truth behind a great lie.
The Fifth Circle: The Dance of Combat
Before crossing the threshold of the fifth circle, the petitioner must overcome a legion of foes. This ordeal is more of a symbolic epic battle than a blow-by-blow brawl. Sometimes the dancer tries to impress her tormentors by using violence in the most imaginable ways possible. If she can overwhelm these enemies without betraying her fear, her prowess in battle increases dramatically.
Black Spiral Dancers are sick, even by Red Talons' and Shadow Lords' standards. There's nothing cool about rape or serial murder or other Dancer practices. They were not created by White Wolf to be player characters, though they can easily be adapted as such, but they take a lot of maturity and sensitivity to roleplay without making anyone uncomfortable or downright pissed off. As such, I will tend to gloss over the absolute horror of everyday Dancer life...the rape, torture, and murder, in favor of describing their role in relation to Pentex and the rest of the world. Forgive me, but reading and roleplaying that kind of stuff is sick as hell.
However! This is not the Journal of Emo Fluffy Bunnies. If you're looking for that, I'd suggest googling Twilight. This guy is a sick, sadistic puppy and is totally unrepentant. Read at your own risk.
Black Spiral Dancers are sick, even by Red Talons' and Shadow Lords' standards. There's nothing cool about rape or serial murder or other Dancer practices. They were not created by White Wolf to be player characters, though they can easily be adapted as such, but they take a lot of maturity and sensitivity to roleplay without making anyone uncomfortable or downright pissed off. As such, I will tend to gloss over the absolute horror of everyday Dancer life...the rape, torture, and murder, in favor of describing their role in relation to Pentex and the rest of the world. Forgive me, but reading and roleplaying that kind of stuff is sick as hell.
However! This is not the Journal of Emo Fluffy Bunnies. If you're looking for that, I'd suggest googling Twilight. This guy is a sick, sadistic puppy and is totally unrepentant. Read at your own risk.
Power Goggles
Level 2, Gnosis 3
First seen in the pages of a Pentex propaganda comic distributed among First Teams, these goggles are now available for use in installations around the world. These Bane fetishes are usable by fomori (who attune to them by rolling Willpower instead of Gnosis), and allow the wearer to see Garou as they traverse the Gauntlet from the Penumbra to the physical world. (The wearer must roll Perception + Occult, difficulty 7, to be alerted in time.) This warning may give a fomor that crucial, extra instant necessary to save his life.
Goblin Ale
Gnosis 4
This alcoholic elixir is typically bartered from the goblin brewers of the Shadow Court. One quaff of these spirits causes the drinker to suffer violently intense hallucinations, and may even shift a Garou accidentally into the Umbra. (Roll Gnosis against the local Gauntlet. If the drinker scores four or more successes, he instantly shifts sideways; three or fewer successes and he remains in the physical world.) Goblin Ale is completely intoxicating, and gets even the stoutest Garou drunker, quicker, than could any human brew. (Shapeshifters who get drunk on Goblin Ale are mean drunks - reduce the difficulty to frenzy by 2 while under the influence) It's a perennial favorite at Black Spiral moots, and usually makes the evening bloodier than usual.
Power Goggles
Level 2, Gnosis 3
First seen in the pages of a Pentex propaganda comic distributed among First Teams, these goggles are now available for use in installations around the world. These Bane fetishes are usable by fomori (who attune to them by rolling Willpower instead of Gnosis), and allow the wearer to see Garou as they traverse the Gauntlet from the Penumbra to the physical world. (The wearer must roll Perception + Occult, difficulty 7, to be alerted in time.) This warning may give a fomor that crucial, extra instant necessary to save his life.
Goblin Ale
Gnosis 4
This alcoholic elixir is typically bartered from the goblin brewers of the Shadow Court. One quaff of these spirits causes the drinker to suffer violently intense hallucinations, and may even shift a Garou accidentally into the Umbra. (Roll Gnosis against the local Gauntlet. If the drinker scores four or more successes, he instantly shifts sideways; three or fewer successes and he remains in the physical world.) Goblin Ale is completely intoxicating, and gets even the stoutest Garou drunker, quicker, than could any human brew. (Shapeshifters who get drunk on Goblin Ale are mean drunks - reduce the difficulty to frenzy by 2 while under the influence) It's a perennial favorite at Black Spiral moots, and usually makes the evening bloodier than usual.
Fetish: Umbraphone
Level 1, Gnosis 3
This is a common toy among the Consultants camp of Black Spiral Dancers. It seems to be a simple black cellular phone, but to those who know how to work its numerical codes, it can be used to make calls to and from the Umbra. Naturally, this can make a Dancer's Rolodex a worrisome thing indeed, as there's always the possibility of finding a direct line to someone like Lady Aife - or worse. The Glass Walkers have developed their own version of this fetish, although other tribes rumble that they might have been taught the secret by the wrong teachers...
Fetish: Umbraphone
Level 1, Gnosis 3
This is a common toy among the Consultants camp of Black Spiral Dancers. It seems to be a simple black cellular phone, but to those who know how to work its numerical codes, it can be used to make calls to and from the Umbra. Naturally, this can make a Dancer's Rolodex a worrisome thing indeed, as there's always the possibility of finding a direct line to someone like Lady Aife - or worse. The Glass Walkers have developed their own version of this fetish, although other tribes rumble that they might have been taught the secret by the wrong teachers...