My overly excitable player wishes to inform you all that I, Marik Ishtar, am now available to unlock in the game Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links.

And it is with great sorrow that I wish to inform you that you don't stand a chance against me! I will banish the evil version of myself and win the Egyptian God Cards from the Pharaoh, so that I can take his powers for my own and become the Pharaoh like I so truly deserve!

Beware, little Yugi. I'm coming for your cards and the Millennium Puzzle! No one will be able to stop me this time!

HAAHAHAHAHAH!!!

I know you were just waiting to figure out what username to use.

That's fine. [grins]

Besides, I approve. Of a lot of things. Now please stop shrieking that loudly and that high, I don't want your dog ending up as batshit as Clark's, thanks.

Dear Player-Person Who Has Been A Pal For Some Time Now:

Just wanted to check in on ya to see how you're doing! Raph can't help but be a little, ah, concerned over your current routine. If we can call it a routine— maybe a recent routine? Something you picked up on an' off, more or less?

Whatever, skipping ahead: I know you've been stressing out, but I think it would be good to get a little nap in once in a while! Or have a completely normal sleep schedule! Seriously though, you need to get some regular hours in! It's like training! Training takes time an' dedication!

If anything, don't be like Donnie!

Hey, I don't write the copy! But fine, lemme reassure you right here: I'm not gonna drain a beloved late night talk show host to death live on television. ... No matter how utterly badass that would be. Like, shrieklaugh your way out of that one, buddy! Keep slappin' that desk, man, nobody's coming!

-- No, but seriously. I'm a professional! We wanna get invited back, right? Gotta make a good first impression. We'll all be on our best behavior. Even the Ghouls. [ POINTEDLY: ] Especially the Ghouls.